How the Wise One Grows

Mindful Moment: The Pause (53)

May 17, 2023 Holly Zajur Season 1 Episode 53
How the Wise One Grows
Mindful Moment: The Pause (53)
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Show Notes Transcript

In this mindful moment, Holly Zajur shares a guided mindfulness-based meditation called "the pause," drawing inspiration from Katie Silcox's teachings in episode 52 and her forthcoming book, "Glow Worthy: Practices for Awakening Your Inner Light and Loving Yourself As You Are-- Broken, Beautiful, and Sacred."

This transformative meditation practice, rooted in "The Holy Pause" from Katie's book and Tara Brach's "Sacred Pause," emphasizes the importance of mindfulness's two wings: awareness and compassion. Join Holly as she guides you through this powerful practice, enabling you to create a conscious space to respond rather than react when faced with triggering situations.

Whether you seek better emotional control or enhanced decision-making skills, this practice is applicable to everyday moments. It's recommended to initially practice in a controlled setting to reinforce the benefits and later incorporate them into your daily life.

Take a deep breath as we embark on this journey together with the How the Wise One Grows podcast community.

  •  Meditation begins [1:41]

Episodes Referenced:
Awaken Your Inner Light with Katie Silcox: A Special Interview on "Glow Worthy" (Ep. 52)

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00;00;02;29 - 00;00;41;16

Hi, everyone, and welcome back. Thank you so much for taking time to land here with me for a mindful moment today. This week's Mindful Moment is based off of episode 52 where I got to interview Katie Silcox about her upcoming book, Glow Worthy. That is absolutely wonderful. In the book, Katie talks a lot about a practice that she calls the Holy Pause and how this practice is so helpful in so many situations in our life.

00;00;43;02 - 00;01;12;26

And it reminded me a lot of a practice that Tara Brock refers to as the sacred pause. So today I'm going to slightly morph the two practices and make them my version called The Pause. So this practice is something that you can use again and again and again, and it's really applicable in your daily life. This is a great thing to use.

00;01;12;27 - 00;01;41;16

First and foremost, when you're triggered, like when something has triggered an emotional reaction and you or a thought pattern loop that just won't stop. It's also really great to use this practice when you're trying to make a decision or seeing how you feel in the moment. There are plenty more times you can use this practice, but those are the two that stand out and are most applicable to me right now.

00;01;43;15 - 00;01;52;06

So take a moment. Find a space that feels safe and supportive for you, and let's take a moment to pause together.

00;01;56;07 - 00;02;14;10

So just right now, take a moment to notice where your body is touching the earth and soft in your shoulders down your back and take a big breath in and a big breath out.

00;02;18;28 - 00;02;47;28

So I'm first going to explain what this practice looks like and how you can apply it. And in everyday scenario in your life. And then we're going to practice it together. So this pause invites you to call this in during a moment when you get triggered. So say there's something that's triggered your reaction and triggered a response in your body that doesn't feel so good to you.

00;02;48;18 - 00;03;25;06

That's your cue. That's your time to pause. Rather than jumping right into that reaction. Feel your feet. Breathe. Pause. And when we pause, we can access our heart and we can access our intelligence. So in that pause. Think of yourself as like a detective. Find out what is going on. Why am I triggered right now? Oftentimes, it's like, what is the story in my head about this thing that just happened?

00;03;27;13 - 00;03;58;20

So figure out the story first, and then once you have that story, let's go a layer deeper. What is the feeling in your body associated with that story? And as we sit with the feeling that we associate with this story, we can break it down into what are often known as the two wings of mindfulness. One is recognize it.

00;03;59;04 - 00;04;36;25

Name it. So maybe that feeling is anger or anxiety. Maybe in the body it feels like tightness in the chest or racing of the heart. So recognize that feeling, Name it. And then the second wing is compassion. Be there with it. Let it be there. Make space for it. Tara Brock says, Just say yes. The way I like to think about this is when that feeling arises in me.

00;04;36;25 - 00;05;10;08

That thing that I think is too much to handle. I bring a hand to my heart or where I feel that big sensation. You take a deep breath and gently whisper, I've got you. I've got you. And breathe with that. So that's what the practice looks like. We're going to hold place to practice this pause together. So just take a moment to settle in.

00;05;12;22 - 00;05;26;02

I invite you now to return to that sensation of your body touching the earth. Focus again on where in the body you feel your breath.

00;05;30;01 - 00;05;37;18

Let's take a deep breath together. In through the nose and out through the mouth.

00;05;42;09 - 00;06;08;03

So I invite you now to think about. Is there something that has just triggered you today, or is there a decision again you're trying to make? And if there's not something immediate? Maybe think of something in your past, maybe not like the most triggering thing that's happened. Let's start small here, but maybe something like a dirty dish that was left in the sink.

00;06;11;05 - 00;06;51;18

And I invite you now to think about that situation. Think about that decision. Picture it as clearly as you can in your mind right now. So imagine you're there. Imagine the situation. Imagine the setting, the scenario around you. Where are you sitting? What clothes are you wearing? What objects are around you? Are there any sounds? Any smells? And in this moment, in this trigger, in this decision you're about to make.

00;06;53;01 - 00;07;39;16

Let's pause. So focus on feeling where your body meets the earth. Take a breath in and a breath out. And focus on your breath flowing through the body. And as we pause here, ask yourself what's going on? What story is my mind telling me right now? Just try to catch a few lines of that story. Notice what the mind is telling you, what that story is that's repeating in the mind.

00;07;41;22 - 00;07;44;11

What's that worry about that decision?

00;07;50;27 - 00;08;04;29

And then once you've got that, let's go a little bit deeper and ask yourself, how does this feel in the body right now?
00;08;07;08 - 00;08;40;22

So as you think of this trigger, as you think of this story, what do you feel and where do you feel it in the body? Get really curious about the details of it rather than resisting that sensation. Let's acknowledge it. Let's step into that first wing of our practice and recognize it. Maybe give it a name. So maybe the name is anger or anxiety.

00;08;43;09 - 00;08;51;00

Think about what that feels like. Is it jumpy? Is it hot? Is it cold? Is it smooth? What does it feel like?

00;08;54;08 - 00;09;08;08

Maybe even give it your own name. Sometimes I like to give my anger a name called Josephine. Maybe your emotion right now has a more personal name.

00;09;14;27 - 00;09;43;11

So once we get familiar with it, once we recognize it, let's lean in. Let's steep it in. Compassion. So let it be there. Don't push it away. Don't shut the door. Let's create space for this big thing that you're feeling right now. Something that helps me a lot is to rest a hand on where in the body. I feel that sensation.

00;09;45;14 - 00;09;54;01

Just take a moment to hold it with my hand. Just be with it. Just feel it.

00;09;58;10 - 00;10;19;12

Just say yes to it. In this moment. Maybe repeat some supportive words to it for me. I like to just say I've got you. I'm here for you. I've got you. You're safe. You're held.

00;10;26;17 - 00;11;57;17

Just take a few moments to really steep that sensation and compassion. Take some time to nurture yourself Here and just take a moment to notice how you feel right now. And notice if there's a space of softness and ease within you, can you breathe into that? Can we lean into that together and then return to the sensation of where your body meets the earth, this sensation of ease and the body, and slowly open your eyes as you return to this space and as you transition out of this pause and into what comes next, can you remain connected to your body and the earth, to that sensation of ease in the body and allow that to

00;11;57;17 - 00;12;03;00

guide you, how you choose to respond to what comes next?